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2019-04-29 - 10:08 a.m.

Major freak-out is happening right now...

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I am freaking the fuck out and I don't know what to do. I don't know who to talk to. I don't know where to go for help. The logical thing would be to ask Joe if we can talk but I'm so nervous.

I'm having a pretty massive panic attack right now. Waves of anxiety started about an hour or so ago. They dissipated for about 12 minutes while I watched a YouTube video that got me out of my head. Is this panic or is it withdrawal? That's something I could talk to Bob or MaryScott about. But I want to tell them after this is over.

I'm freaking out about rehearsal. Every little thing I could do today seems so daunting as to be impossible to start.

My skin is prickly and hot, my hands shakes sometimes. I can't focus.

Maybe it's both. Serves me right then.

Just wait it out. Hold on.

Hold on.

Don't drink.

Hold on.

ebb - flow

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